Those who schedule meetings to discuss the previous meeting

and those who solve everything in Slack threads

Those who arrive at the airport 3 hours early

and those who run through the terminal to catch their flight

Those who reply-all to everything

and those who forget to reply at all

Those who need coffee before they can speak

and those who are annoyingly chipper in the morning without it

Those who refuse to pay $7 for coffee

and those who have a monthly coffee budget larger than their grocery bill

Those who drink it black and judge everyone else

and those who order beverages that are basically desserts