Those who refuse to pay $7 for coffee

and those who have a monthly coffee budget larger than their grocery bill

Those who drink it black and judge everyone else

and those who order beverages that are basically desserts

Those who tailgate in the slow lane

and those who go exactly the speed limit in the fast lane

Those who accelerate toward yellow lights

and those who brake at the first hint of yellow

Those who use turn signals religiously

and those who apparently don't know their car has turn signals

Those who let their kids stay up late

and those who have strict bedtime routines they defend like their life depends on it